first

*sigh*

Today should only have an average amount of significance attributed to it in the annals of my mind.  Despite the great power of what should be, it seems as though today means something to me.

Maybe this shift of significance is because I found a motivation... This afternoon I was strongly urged to clean my room (not merely tidy up, mind you, but actually clean).  So after some time, I made my way upstairs and started cleaning it up, with the loving help of my kind mommy =] <3

While I was dusting, and moving things around, I noticed (not for the first time) that my room is very cramped.  I believe that my bed is too large, and my bookcase too small.  I think I'm done with squeezing around in very little space, it's time to make things... change.  So my purpose this afternoon was organization, and finding a way to make my room work; in a way that satisfied me.  Something that involves a lot of removal. First of all my bed must go, it's simply too large. After that, I'm going to box the contents of my bookcase, and then tear it apart. Piece by flimsy piece. Unfortunately I will have to depart from my two dressers as well =( They have served me well, and I like how they look, but they are too big.  And old.  I hope to achieve a more contemporary aesthetic.  And since I desire contemporary... no better place to look than Ikea!  I found a pretty awesome sofa bed, something I've always wanted, and as a plus it'll fit and work well with the feel of the room.  Along with that, I found a bookcase with triple the space I currently possess, as well as plenty of room for my many dvds =] I'm still in search for a way to organize my heaps of clothes within the small confines of my closet, but with this much motivation, I'm sure it won't be long until I find one.

On a different topic, today I felt... like I was on my own.  It was more empowering than I had always thought it would be.  I guess I've always thought about being out by myself as something... difficult and unenjoyable.  But it's nice. It's a challenge, and I find it satisfying to achieve things that are unasked, but needed.  Funny, what got me started on this whole thing was buying ingredients for salsa, and then making it from scratch with no real recipe.  I kept thinking of Julie and Julia, and a blog was the first thing that came to mind... So here I am.

The third thing that made today's significance more than average was the departure of a good friend.  I had wanted to remain somewhat aloof, while still conveying my emotion and sadness; but I feel more deeply about it than I had thought.  He has been my best friend for well over a year now, and a valuable support and pillar of reason whenever I needed it.  I feel terribly sad that he's leaving, with no speedy means of communication.  I'm happy for him though, because there is better than here for the time being.  I hope to improve myself while he's gone, so that he notices an obvious difference next time we meet.

here's a Bible verse I think shall be my family motto or whatever.

1 Corinthians 16:13-14 "Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love."