I feel like... for the time being, I have a banal purpose for "doing"
Get up, but only just in time for work. Accomplish chores whenever you feel like geting around to doing them. Waste time. Put things that feel important... off for "later". Merely because you are much more comfortable right in this chair, and moving elsewhere is nigh impossible.
Days like those sicken me at their close. I need to find out what exactly can be put on the pedestal of purpose, and strive for it zealously. Every human must have some sort of motivation, something to aim for in the future. My motivations are hourly as of late; they need to be more paramount than the motivation to work hard for "only one more hour", just to be able to rest in the car when it's all over (for the day). I can't keep living like this, God had put more purpose in my life than these trivialities. But I've blinded myself to His vision, and I've covered up His plans with my own selfish and infantile desires. I've feel Him urge me to take time for Him, and figure out what He wants, but my laziness has continually bound me tight to my chair.
No more. Or should I say... Please more! I've been advised to spend an hour in daily solitude, somewhere where I feel God, to listen and share, and hear His will. And think. Hopefully my ears will have cleared up by the time this helpful practice has been completed.
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